“A shrimpy, perma-tanned, hair-plugged, vulgarian gaffe machine who has survived 12 corruption trials, counts among the world’s richest men, gets all the girls, and still, unaccountably, remains his country’s most popular leader. Teflon is like flypaper compared to Silvio Berlusconi.” This guy doesn’t just hike the Appalachian Trail, he strip-mines it.